I Wanna Make The Dial Tone Your Bestfriend.

Quick Random Monday Rant:

As I was playing UNO with my niece and beating her pretty bad if I must say, I all of a sudden get a random phone call from a 707 number at 2 something in the morning. Normally I wouldn’t answer a call that I did not recognize, but for whatever reason I decided to see what the hell this person wanted.

Lose my number...thanks in advance.

Me: “Hello.”
Random Caller: “Tanesha?”
Me: “Who is this?”
Random Caller: “—-” (I will respect this person enough to not blast his name)
Me: “Who?”
Random Caller: “—-! You don’t remember me?”
Me: “What do you want?”
Random Caller: “Can you do me a favor?”
Me: “Nope! But I’m curious as to what you want.”
Random Caller: “Come see me.”
Me: “No. Goodbye.”

First off, I haven’t spoken to this person in about 8 months. Secondly, the d*ck wasn’t poppin’ like that to make me jump and say “I’m on my way”. LMAO, at best is was mediocre. I’m sure your hand wants is more than I do.

Ah go get a life, or better yet go get some new phone numbers and lose mine.

Signing out!

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The Not So Lovely World Of Dating. Thumbs Way Down!

Dating is a cold game, and you would think it would get easier as you get older….SIKE..

Yeah, okay, I guess

I have been single for some time now. My famous line in the past was “I like being single. I’m happy I don’t have to answer to anyone”. Well I’m damn near 30 years old and my views and opinions have shifted; I’m thinking differently, some would say clearer. Is it wrong of me to ask for a MAN who knows what his priorities are in life, is a go-getter, and is NOT caught up in all the superficial things in life? I mean damn, do these type of men even exist anymore or are they extinct? I have questions that need to be answered.

Yes, I must admit, I do have a brick wall up and I am not the easiest person to get to know. I have trust issues and I’m not the only woman in the world that does (men are included too). Would I ever hold the next man accountable for what the last person did to me? No. Will I have on my suit of armor when the next person comes too close to my heart? Yes, it would only be human nature for me to do so.

The whole cat and mouse game that usually comes with dating is not for me. The few little meaningless relationships I have been in, the guy felt that I never put my all in to it, and they were damn skippy about that one. Why would I put my all in to someone when he is not giving me the attention I am seeking from him? Seriously. What you put in is what I put out, (at least in relationships) simple as that. If your not calling me, well I’m damn sure not calling you. If your short with me (i.e not having much to say) well I guarantee you I’m gonna be short with you. Its an easy science to this sh*t, nothing complicated.

Some may think that my way of looking at the situation is petty, but it is what is. When I begin dating a guy I come in to the situation with a open mind and just a little guarded. I make sure I give the person a chance to show what they are about and are they serious about getting to know me. It’s their choice to want to either A, f*ck up that chance or B, take the chance and see where things go.

Okay I’m done talking about this dating topic. Hopefully the dating gods will be a little nicer to me in the future because this sh*t is for the birds

Neighbors Know My Name….His Version

What the f*ckery?!

I won’t go in on this guy like I really want to, for the simple fact he put his heart in to singing this song.

I just have two questions.

Question #1. Is he singing from his cheeks or throat?
Question #2. Is he wearing dress shoes or tap shoes to make that sound?

*shrugs shoulders*

No more clubs for me….NO BUENO!

I’m too old for this “clubbing” sh*t! And this was confirmed when I went out this weekend. Don’t get me wrong, I had a damn great time, but I was really messed up the next day. I wasn’t sick to my stomach or anything like that, I just couldn’t seem to pull it together. My energy was completely zapped, and I still felt a lil drunk.

While I was going to school in Atlanta, my roommates and I clubbed every single damn night. We were wild as hell. Anywhere and everywhere we went, we made it in to a party. At that time I was 19-22 years old. I will be 29 in June and I can’t do all those crazy things anymore. I’m more content with going out to eat, dinner parties, doing happy hour with the girls, traveling, movies, and bowling. All of these things is what I consider fun.

Allow me to give you my top 5 reasons why I’m completely retiring from the club scene:

1.) My hair always gets f*cked up (anyone who knows me knows how I feel about my hair not looking right).
2.) Bay Area clubs are lightweight wack as hell, and the only way that you will enjoy yourself is if you’re drunk.
3.) People don’t know how to act.
4.) I’m just over the whole “clubbing” scene.
5.) I’m too old, it’s a wrap.

I refuse to be the old ass lady out in the middle of someones dance floor, with a drink in her hand, doing the stanky leg…that’s not cute. In my opinion they’re so many other fun things to do other than going clubbing, you just have to find them.

[LOOK AT THIS OLD WOMAN. PURE FUCKERY! SMFH! NO SIR OR MA’AM..IT WONT BE ME!]

Who Is The Genius Who Came Up With This?

YESSSSSSSS! I love a commercial that can give me a good laugh; really tickle my funny bone!

As sickening as it is, you have to find humor in this Smart Mop infomercial. This man demonstrates how you can spill soda on the floor, mop it up, ring the mop out in to a glass, and it’s ready to drink again. WOW!

Drinking “mopped up soda”?! Really?! LOL! You gotta love the marketing genius who came up with this idea. BRILLIANT!

Grind, Get it in, Hustle, Make Money, Get Money…Just Get It!

Kim Kardashian is thee shit in my book, I can careless about what you, your momma or daddy have to say about her. This chick gets money out the ass crack, literally. She has her own fragrance, workout tapes, currently working with BEBE to launch her own collection, diet pills, she gets paid $10,000 every time she mentions a specific company in her tweets on twitter, and a host of many other endorsements and business ventures. All I can do is respect her hustle. Yeah she had a sex tape out with Ray J, so what. She took that negative and flipped it in to a positive, now this chick is sitting on millions, how about that?

It bothers me when I see people who are in the age range of 18-40 not do anything with their life. Whether it is going to school, working, or just trying to hustle to build an empire; just do something, don’t sit and wait for things to come to you. Get up, let the blood flow back to your ass, and get to moving. Be about something, be about you.

Older people love to talk. So instead of them sitting at home watching “The Price Is Right” and watering their rose gardens, many of them have decided to work at Walmart as a greeter. They can talk to random people about anything and get paid for it. It’s a win win situation. Their utilizing their abilities, which is talking, and getting money all at the same time. My point is, is use the gift God has blessed you with.

In the picture above, you see a guy that is dressed in silver and with him you see a girl cheesing ever so happily. Now some may ask why is this man dressed like this, and who is he? Well to us, San Francisco, Bay Area Natives, he is the “Silver Man”. The “Silver Man” gets money dumped in to his cup by tourist for doing something so simple as mimicking a robot to music. WOW! Talk about a person their grind! This man said to himself “I’m about to get these tourist for their money, legally, because they are silly enough to willingly give it to me”. If that’s not a prime example of using what you got, then I don’t know what is.

The moral of the story is find what your good at, utilize it, and make it happen captain. Surround yourself with people who are doing something with their life, and motivate the ones that are doing nothing with theirs. If you are great at hopping on one leg while singing the National Anthem, well then do it to its fullest potential and make it beneficial. Make your mark in history, accomplish something other than accomplishing doing nothing at all. Come on punkin, show the world what you are all about.

“I aim to be ‘GREAT’, I have mastered how to be ‘GOOD’, I can work with ‘OKAY’ to be ‘BETTER’, But ‘BAD’ is not acceptable”. – Ms.NiceTee

I’M A PROUD SPONSER OF RAID! YOU SHOULD BE TOO! LOL!

RAIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!

Have you ever noticed how people flock to you when you have some sort of drama in your life? I think of these people like roaches. When it’s a dark point in your life that’s when they move towards you so they can know whats going on, but as soon as your life is bright and things are going good for you, they all scatter. Human being, roaming the world, real life roaches; that’s what they are in my book.

I’m not the type of person that dismisses everything off to a person being jealous or a hater. I try to be more open-minded than that; really find out what the root of the problem is. It’s a very easy answer to a sometimes difficult question….they just really don’t care, point-blank. And why don’t they care? Well that my precious little readers I do not have the answer to. All I can say is if they don’t care, I don’t give a fuck. These people make me laugh and shake my head at the same time, literally. This is eliminating season anyway, it’s about that time to start ridding the next batch roaches out of my life. Guarantee they will try to find a way back in to my life, but I’m fully stocked up with Raid to spray those pesky b*tches away. “RAIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!” LMAO!

HARD?! No No Punkin….More like SOFT!

Can someone please riddle me this? Why is it that some men (or should I say boys) feel like it is always necessary that they put on this “HARD” act? C’mon son! Do you really feel the need to show me you have balls? Walking around like you’re a 24/7, 365, everyday of your life, Mighty Morphin Power Ranger does nothing for me besides make my nipples go limp, seriously.

Websters Dictionary definition of hard is – not soft, while my definition of the word and the way I use it, is the total opposite. In my world it means -soft. I will even go as far as saying “softie”,”slushie”, ummm…a “pudding pop”, your equal to wack in my eyes. Telling me what you did to this person, what you can do to that person, and what kind of gun you have, does not make you relevant, it makes you a person that feels they have something to prove. You can keep that, ’cause I don’t want it. Give me someone who has nothing to prove to,but all to show.

Honestly, I personally feel the ones that are carriers of this so-called “HARD” trait, are lacking in some area of their manhood, and feel by acting like this gives them a boost of confidence. A man who is sure of himself has no need to prove anything to anyone; to him its considered a waste of time.

So in conclusion, men, stop trying to show women you have a nut sack, 9 times out of 10 we already know. We understand you have the physical traits of a man, no need to staple your d*ck to your forehead for us to recognize this. And women, stop wrongly rubbing the egos of these men. You’re not helping the situation at hand by making them feel like they did something, when they did nothing at all.

…Let me stop before someone gets “HARD” and want to beat my ass..LMAO. I just had to get that off my chest.

NOTE: Some may call this male bashing, but its not. I like to call it “my opinion”. I would love to know what you think.

Never Complexed by my Complexion

With every fiber in my body and soul, I try my best to be happy with me, and majority of the time I am, but naturally I have my moments of insecurities. And when I say insecurities, I speak of small minor things. Things like my hair not looking right, looking a bit on the chunky side in certain outfits, or my eye brows looking like I am related to Wolfeman. These are all things that can be fixed with a little attention and time. But one damn thing I can tell you, is that I have never been insecure about the complextion of my skin. I am a proud dark skin woman. My skin has been chocolate since the day my mother gave birth to me on June 30th 1981. And not once in my 28 years on Gods green earth have I ever been complexed by my complexion.

Allow me to take you on a trip back to the days of slavery, where things were different, but not that much different from what they are today. Black men, women, and children were sold as slaves, subjected to working under strenuous, unbelievable, cruel working conditions which were forced upon them. It has been told by our elders and history, that if you were dark-skinned you were put out in to the fields to work, and if you were light-skinned you were put in to the house to work. In my opinion, this is where this ridiculous light skin dark skin complex originated.

So if this separation began way back in the days of slavery (which wasn’t that long ago), why does it continue now in 2010? The answer to this is easy; Ignorance. I have stumbled across this type of shallowness on many occasions. If your black your black, regardless if your light or dark. But to some people feel differently. Has anyone ever heard of the “paper bag” test? Basically its a test to show how light or dark skin you are. If you are lighter than the paper bag, you are considered “light skin” and if you are darker than the paper bag you are considered “dark skin”. And what was accomplished after taking this test? NOTHING! Do you find it hard to believe that a person would really take the time out of their day to hold a paper bag to their skin? Well if your answer is yes, kudos to you, you actually have sense.

Unfortunately I know people who have these skin complexion issues. People who say ingorant things like they don’t want to have dark skin babies, or men that say they don’t like to date dark skin women. These remarks are made as if being a darker complexion is a bad thing. Allow me to paint a clearer picture about how deep this complex thing is. I have friend, and she has a true complex about being a darker skinned woman. Whether its reading a magazine or watching t.v, she continusly makes remarks like, “she is too dark-skinned” or “this light-skinned girl thinks she is cute”. She even goes as far as to mention how light skin her children are any chance she gets. It’s as if she is proud that her offspring did not come out dark-skinned. It is beyond aggravating to me to hear her say these things because it shows how simple-minded she is. On many occasions I have asked why is it that she always brings a person’s skin complexion in to the equation, and every time she acts as if she has no clue what I am talking about. Sad, because she doesn’t see the harm she is doing. She is embedding these same feelings in to her children, whio in return will embed the same feelings in to their children.

Some may take this as I may have a complex with my complexion, but I can reassure you that I am so comfortable in my skin it should be a sin, seriously. I am merely stating facts, stating the “what is”. We shouldnt subject ourselves to such shallowness. To be divided by skin complextion, but yet be the same race makes not a bit of sense. “If you knew better, you would do better”, isn’t that what they say? I am just a messenger, here to let you know. Accept and Love.

NOTE:This makes video # 2 for me. I’m still trying to get used to this video blogging thing, it’s still very new to me. I’m learning how to edit my videos, so bare with me folks. As time goes on and I get more familiar with this, I will have this whole thing perfected. Again, if you have any opinions, or tips on how I can make my videos better, please share. Until then…..Enjoy, or atleast try too.

Know your equal…..Damnit!

Get it the f*ck together people, seriously.

Note: This is my first damn video I have ever posted up on the internet. I look like a hot mess because I’m still trying to get over this cold I unfortunately still have. Bare with me people. Please feel free to let me know what I need to do (if you’re an experienced video blogger) to make my videos better. Thanks!