“Friends with benefits”…Accept It or Don’t Do It.

We’re in a time where convenience is truly valued. And rightfully so, we are living in a fast world. We want convenient food, convenient transportation, convenient friendships, convenient relationships, convenient sex. Yes, I said sex – it’s true, if you think differently, think again.

The “proper” term is “friends with benefits”, which in my opinion the term sounds like a big joke. Why not call it “acquaintances with benefits”? Think about it, you’re truly not friends with this person. They don’t care what’s going on in your life; if your uncle Joe blow died, or you got fired from your job. Face it, the only thing they are concerned about is if you are are available to give them that good pootang or dingalang (lmao, I got a good chuckle off of that one).

Besides the term being radical, this “friends with benefits” thing majority of the time ends up with someone getting hurt. Some will argue my personal views, and that is fine, but realistically and statistically speaking this is known to be the truth. Someone starts catching feelings for the other person and the other person doesn’t feel the same way. The end result in this situation is someone being truly pissy because the other person didn’t feel the same way.

How many happy endings do you know of where the two people shook hands and civilly parted ways? I’m sure not very many scenarios played out like this. And I’m not saying it’s impossible, but 98.9% of the time people conclude with a different ending – a not so happy one.

I was a once a proud supporter and member of the “friends with benefits” club (well I haven’t quite ended my membership yet – different story for another posting). It was easy, simple, and convenient; BOOM, BANG, POW..and we’re done, nothing to it. But honestly, it gets old after a while. Getting called in the middle of the night, not actually talking and getting to know that person; everything is kept short and sweet (EVERYTHING!). After a while you realize this sh*t is for the birds and you want something more, rightfully so.

I guess all I’m trying to say is if you decide you want to be in a “friends with benefits”, or as I like to call it, “acquaintances with benefits”, type of relationship, keep in mind this: you are not really friends (majority of the time), don’t expect them to give 2 shits about your life, don’t have expectations of them fully committing to you, and if you catch feelings, slap yourself because you knew what you were getting in to; you signed that contract when he or she text or called you in the middle of the night; your signature was your reply.

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I Wanna Make The Dial Tone Your Bestfriend.

Quick Random Monday Rant:

As I was playing UNO with my niece and beating her pretty bad if I must say, I all of a sudden get a random phone call from a 707 number at 2 something in the morning. Normally I wouldn’t answer a call that I did not recognize, but for whatever reason I decided to see what the hell this person wanted.

Lose my number...thanks in advance.

Me: “Hello.”
Random Caller: “Tanesha?”
Me: “Who is this?”
Random Caller: “—-” (I will respect this person enough to not blast his name)
Me: “Who?”
Random Caller: “—-! You don’t remember me?”
Me: “What do you want?”
Random Caller: “Can you do me a favor?”
Me: “Nope! But I’m curious as to what you want.”
Random Caller: “Come see me.”
Me: “No. Goodbye.”

First off, I haven’t spoken to this person in about 8 months. Secondly, the d*ck wasn’t poppin’ like that to make me jump and say “I’m on my way”. LMAO, at best is was mediocre. I’m sure your hand wants is more than I do.

Ah go get a life, or better yet go get some new phone numbers and lose mine.

Signing out!

When Giving Up Is A Great Thing To Do

All my life I always heard “never give up”. These words have been planted in us by family members, friends, and teachers. Do you really feel in your heart these words are true? Well in my opinion I don’t think so, and I believe their is an exception to this rule.

Dreams and goals are two things you should never give up on. But I do believe they’re some things worth letting go, and that is failed relationships. Question. What is the point of trying to hold on to something that constantly slips out of your hands? It’s useless right?

Allow me to get personal without getting too personal.

Over the last couple of years I have found myself hooking up/dating the same people I dated when I was about 15 to 21 years old (pretty damn sad). With all of these social networking sites like Myspace, Facebook, and even Twitter, it is very easy for so called “old flings” to get back in contact with you, and try to rekindle what you two once had.

Well silly me, I always seem to fall in to the “let’s get back together” trap every time; thinking things will be different, but they’re not. The same childish time consuming games that were played in the past, are still presently played. The only difference is they are now being played as adults, which is wack, played out, and no longer cute. I can admit, things seem to be great in the beginning. We would talk about the past, laugh about the little silly things we used to do, chat about our future hopes of possibly being together again, blah blah blah, and bullsh*t. I have turned pretty callus to all of these false hopes, and I can officially say I’m done. Whether it was my fault or their fault as to why things things didn’t work out, it doesn’t matter because its a wrap.

From this day forward, I vow I will not hook up with another guy from my past, I’m over it. This is not to say that I will never speak to these people again. But it will be more on a “hey how are you, hope you have a great life” type conversation. No more relationship talk. Been there, done that; it’s time to give it up and move on.

My true belief as to why I always found myself with the same guys from my past, is due to fear of having to start from scratch with someone new. A lot us find comfort in sticking with what we know, which is a normal human feeling. I am currently learning that being comfortable with the familiar is not always a good thing, because you are setting restrictions for yourself; restrictions on learning and growing. I’m ready to see who else is out there, and not box myself in with the same guys. Regardless of what people think, I am still young, and I have ample opportunity to meet someone that can and will stimulate all of my senses mentally, physically, and emotionally.

With all of this being said, I am saying so long to all the guys that have come, gone, and came back into my life; I’m officially giving up. It’s been real, a little to real. Here’s a kiss for the road. Muah!