“Friends with benefits”…Accept It or Don’t Do It.

We’re in a time where convenience is truly valued. And rightfully so, we are living in a fast world. We want convenient food, convenient transportation, convenient friendships, convenient relationships, convenient sex. Yes, I said sex – it’s true, if you think differently, think again.

The “proper” term is “friends with benefits”, which in my opinion the term sounds like a big joke. Why not call it “acquaintances with benefits”? Think about it, you’re truly not friends with this person. They don’t care what’s going on in your life; if your uncle Joe blow died, or you got fired from your job. Face it, the only thing they are concerned about is if you are are available to give them that good pootang or dingalang (lmao, I got a good chuckle off of that one).

Besides the term being radical, this “friends with benefits” thing majority of the time ends up with someone getting hurt. Some will argue my personal views, and that is fine, but realistically and statistically speaking this is known to be the truth. Someone starts catching feelings for the other person and the other person doesn’t feel the same way. The end result in this situation is someone being truly pissy because the other person didn’t feel the same way.

How many happy endings do you know of where the two people shook hands and civilly parted ways? I’m sure not very many scenarios played out like this. And I’m not saying it’s impossible, but 98.9% of the time people conclude with a different ending – a not so happy one.

I was a once a proud supporter and member of the “friends with benefits” club (well I haven’t quite ended my membership yet – different story for another posting). It was easy, simple, and convenient; BOOM, BANG, POW..and we’re done, nothing to it. But honestly, it gets old after a while. Getting called in the middle of the night, not actually talking and getting to know that person; everything is kept short and sweet (EVERYTHING!). After a while you realize this sh*t is for the birds and you want something more, rightfully so.

I guess all I’m trying to say is if you decide you want to be in a “friends with benefits”, or as I like to call it, “acquaintances with benefits”, type of relationship, keep in mind this: you are not really friends (majority of the time), don’t expect them to give 2 shits about your life, don’t have expectations of them fully committing to you, and if you catch feelings, slap yourself because you knew what you were getting in to; you signed that contract when he or she text or called you in the middle of the night; your signature was your reply.

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The Not So Lovely World Of Dating. Thumbs Way Down!

Dating is a cold game, and you would think it would get easier as you get older….SIKE..

Yeah, okay, I guess

I have been single for some time now. My famous line in the past was “I like being single. I’m happy I don’t have to answer to anyone”. Well I’m damn near 30 years old and my views and opinions have shifted; I’m thinking differently, some would say clearer. Is it wrong of me to ask for a MAN who knows what his priorities are in life, is a go-getter, and is NOT caught up in all the superficial things in life? I mean damn, do these type of men even exist anymore or are they extinct? I have questions that need to be answered.

Yes, I must admit, I do have a brick wall up and I am not the easiest person to get to know. I have trust issues and I’m not the only woman in the world that does (men are included too). Would I ever hold the next man accountable for what the last person did to me? No. Will I have on my suit of armor when the next person comes too close to my heart? Yes, it would only be human nature for me to do so.

The whole cat and mouse game that usually comes with dating is not for me. The few little meaningless relationships I have been in, the guy felt that I never put my all in to it, and they were damn skippy about that one. Why would I put my all in to someone when he is not giving me the attention I am seeking from him? Seriously. What you put in is what I put out, (at least in relationships) simple as that. If your not calling me, well I’m damn sure not calling you. If your short with me (i.e not having much to say) well I guarantee you I’m gonna be short with you. Its an easy science to this sh*t, nothing complicated.

Some may think that my way of looking at the situation is petty, but it is what is. When I begin dating a guy I come in to the situation with a open mind and just a little guarded. I make sure I give the person a chance to show what they are about and are they serious about getting to know me. It’s their choice to want to either A, f*ck up that chance or B, take the chance and see where things go.

Okay I’m done talking about this dating topic. Hopefully the dating gods will be a little nicer to me in the future because this sh*t is for the birds