“Friends with benefits”…Accept It or Don’t Do It.

We’re in a time where convenience is truly valued. And rightfully so, we are living in a fast world. We want convenient food, convenient transportation, convenient friendships, convenient relationships, convenient sex. Yes, I said sex – it’s true, if you think differently, think again.

The “proper” term is “friends with benefits”, which in my opinion the term sounds like a big joke. Why not call it “acquaintances with benefits”? Think about it, you’re truly not friends with this person. They don’t care what’s going on in your life; if your uncle Joe blow died, or you got fired from your job. Face it, the only thing they are concerned about is if you are are available to give them that good pootang or dingalang (lmao, I got a good chuckle off of that one).

Besides the term being radical, this “friends with benefits” thing majority of the time ends up with someone getting hurt. Some will argue my personal views, and that is fine, but realistically and statistically speaking this is known to be the truth. Someone starts catching feelings for the other person and the other person doesn’t feel the same way. The end result in this situation is someone being truly pissy because the other person didn’t feel the same way.

How many happy endings do you know of where the two people shook hands and civilly parted ways? I’m sure not very many scenarios played out like this. And I’m not saying it’s impossible, but 98.9% of the time people conclude with a different ending – a not so happy one.

I was a once a proud supporter and member of the “friends with benefits” club (well I haven’t quite ended my membership yet – different story for another posting). It was easy, simple, and convenient; BOOM, BANG, POW..and we’re done, nothing to it. But honestly, it gets old after a while. Getting called in the middle of the night, not actually talking and getting to know that person; everything is kept short and sweet (EVERYTHING!). After a while you realize this sh*t is for the birds and you want something more, rightfully so.

I guess all I’m trying to say is if you decide you want to be in a “friends with benefits”, or as I like to call it, “acquaintances with benefits”, type of relationship, keep in mind this: you are not really friends (majority of the time), don’t expect them to give 2 shits about your life, don’t have expectations of them fully committing to you, and if you catch feelings, slap yourself because you knew what you were getting in to; you signed that contract when he or she text or called you in the middle of the night; your signature was your reply.

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HARD?! No No Punkin….More like SOFT!

Can someone please riddle me this? Why is it that some men (or should I say boys) feel like it is always necessary that they put on this “HARD” act? C’mon son! Do you really feel the need to show me you have balls? Walking around like you’re a 24/7, 365, everyday of your life, Mighty Morphin Power Ranger does nothing for me besides make my nipples go limp, seriously.

Websters Dictionary definition of hard is – not soft, while my definition of the word and the way I use it, is the total opposite. In my world it means -soft. I will even go as far as saying “softie”,”slushie”, ummm…a “pudding pop”, your equal to wack in my eyes. Telling me what you did to this person, what you can do to that person, and what kind of gun you have, does not make you relevant, it makes you a person that feels they have something to prove. You can keep that, ’cause I don’t want it. Give me someone who has nothing to prove to,but all to show.

Honestly, I personally feel the ones that are carriers of this so-called “HARD” trait, are lacking in some area of their manhood, and feel by acting like this gives them a boost of confidence. A man who is sure of himself has no need to prove anything to anyone; to him its considered a waste of time.

So in conclusion, men, stop trying to show women you have a nut sack, 9 times out of 10 we already know. We understand you have the physical traits of a man, no need to staple your d*ck to your forehead for us to recognize this. And women, stop wrongly rubbing the egos of these men. You’re not helping the situation at hand by making them feel like they did something, when they did nothing at all.

…Let me stop before someone gets “HARD” and want to beat my ass..LMAO. I just had to get that off my chest.

NOTE: Some may call this male bashing, but its not. I like to call it “my opinion”. I would love to know what you think.

Never Complexed by my Complexion

With every fiber in my body and soul, I try my best to be happy with me, and majority of the time I am, but naturally I have my moments of insecurities. And when I say insecurities, I speak of small minor things. Things like my hair not looking right, looking a bit on the chunky side in certain outfits, or my eye brows looking like I am related to Wolfeman. These are all things that can be fixed with a little attention and time. But one damn thing I can tell you, is that I have never been insecure about the complextion of my skin. I am a proud dark skin woman. My skin has been chocolate since the day my mother gave birth to me on June 30th 1981. And not once in my 28 years on Gods green earth have I ever been complexed by my complexion.

Allow me to take you on a trip back to the days of slavery, where things were different, but not that much different from what they are today. Black men, women, and children were sold as slaves, subjected to working under strenuous, unbelievable, cruel working conditions which were forced upon them. It has been told by our elders and history, that if you were dark-skinned you were put out in to the fields to work, and if you were light-skinned you were put in to the house to work. In my opinion, this is where this ridiculous light skin dark skin complex originated.

So if this separation began way back in the days of slavery (which wasn’t that long ago), why does it continue now in 2010? The answer to this is easy; Ignorance. I have stumbled across this type of shallowness on many occasions. If your black your black, regardless if your light or dark. But to some people feel differently. Has anyone ever heard of the “paper bag” test? Basically its a test to show how light or dark skin you are. If you are lighter than the paper bag, you are considered “light skin” and if you are darker than the paper bag you are considered “dark skin”. And what was accomplished after taking this test? NOTHING! Do you find it hard to believe that a person would really take the time out of their day to hold a paper bag to their skin? Well if your answer is yes, kudos to you, you actually have sense.

Unfortunately I know people who have these skin complexion issues. People who say ingorant things like they don’t want to have dark skin babies, or men that say they don’t like to date dark skin women. These remarks are made as if being a darker complexion is a bad thing. Allow me to paint a clearer picture about how deep this complex thing is. I have friend, and she has a true complex about being a darker skinned woman. Whether its reading a magazine or watching t.v, she continusly makes remarks like, “she is too dark-skinned” or “this light-skinned girl thinks she is cute”. She even goes as far as to mention how light skin her children are any chance she gets. It’s as if she is proud that her offspring did not come out dark-skinned. It is beyond aggravating to me to hear her say these things because it shows how simple-minded she is. On many occasions I have asked why is it that she always brings a person’s skin complexion in to the equation, and every time she acts as if she has no clue what I am talking about. Sad, because she doesn’t see the harm she is doing. She is embedding these same feelings in to her children, whio in return will embed the same feelings in to their children.

Some may take this as I may have a complex with my complexion, but I can reassure you that I am so comfortable in my skin it should be a sin, seriously. I am merely stating facts, stating the “what is”. We shouldnt subject ourselves to such shallowness. To be divided by skin complextion, but yet be the same race makes not a bit of sense. “If you knew better, you would do better”, isn’t that what they say? I am just a messenger, here to let you know. Accept and Love.

NOTE:This makes video # 2 for me. I’m still trying to get used to this video blogging thing, it’s still very new to me. I’m learning how to edit my videos, so bare with me folks. As time goes on and I get more familiar with this, I will have this whole thing perfected. Again, if you have any opinions, or tips on how I can make my videos better, please share. Until then…..Enjoy, or atleast try too.

Really?! You wanted to go skiing that bad? Damn

Sarah Nicole Fowke. The ultimate ski liar.

Hands down, this chick gets the “Ultimate Liar” and the “B*tch Was It That Serious” Award.  This woman attempted to use her boyfriends ski pass, of course to do the obvious… go skiing (duh). When she was asked why she was using mans ski pass, this loon toon says that she was in the process of undergoing a sex change. Really?! She must really love to ski.

If I had a boyfriend and he said “yeah babe, just use my ski pass”, I would have to stop that conversation right there in its tracks. I would have to ask him a couple of questions, like: “so do you think I look like a man?” and “If you think I look like a man, why are you with me?” and the ultimate question is “Do you like men?”. Yeah buddy, I would have taken the conversation to another level.

News story below from About.com: http://weirdnews.about.com/b/2009/12/10/woman-claims-sex-change-to-use-mans-ski-ticket.htm

 

“Police say a woman caught using her boyfriend’s ski pass claimed she was in the middle of a sex-change operation when asked why she had a man’s pass.

Police in Colorado say Sarah Nicole Fowke was stopped when trying to use a pass belonging to Nicholas Hemstreet. And that’s when things got interesting.

Fowke told the resort she was in the middle of a sex change, and that her father had disowned her, according to cbs4denver.com. That was shocking news to Mr. Hemstreet, whose son (still apparently a man) eventually admitted he gave his pass to his girlfriend — Fowke — according to the report”

Blind to the color

Robin Thicke?! Hell yeah, I’d bone.  Lawd Geesus that man is so attractive, he makes my knees buckle when he sings, talks, walks, eats, sits on the toilet, blows his nose, everything…he is gorgeous.  Yes, he can be the cream to my coffee anytime *drools*.

The funny part about it is that I am not normally attracted to white men. Don’t twist my words, because some may holler I’m racist or something, which I am not, I just prefer black men, it’s a preference.

I know I should not be shallow and subject myself to one group of people.  Some say that color should not matter, and I totally agree with this.  Here is a great example, and please people do not take this personal.

Example: One day I was in Target, in the lotion aisle. Along side of me was a white man; Very nicely dressed, attractive, nice smelling cologne, everything I love in man on the outside. He was watching me as I kept picking up and putting down lotions. It was obvious that I was having a hard time trying to find something I liked. So he picks up a Jergens bottle and says “this is a good lotion, not to heavy not to light” .  I chuckle and say “really? “. I begin to explain why I did not like Jergens because of blah blah blah (I don’t remember my reason, because I am now in love with that lotion). Anywho, he goes on to explain that he is a doctor and that that is the lotion he recommends to his patients. From there we struck up a conversation that went on to many different topics. Just as we were about to part ways, he asked for my phone number, and said that he would love to continue our conversation. Granted it was a great conversation, I just couldn’t see myself saying “yeah, my number is 415 blah blah blah, call me” . Was it because he was white? Great possibility. So basically the way I turned him down,  I told him that I was in a very serious relationship (what a lie). He said “oh okay, well it was nice talking with you and you take care”. He shook my hand and we went our separate ways.  Now if I was in the same situation, but instead of the man being white he was black would I have given him my number ? Yes.

Maybe stereotypes that are put on certain groups of people make me not want to step outside the box. Like for instance they say black men have big “THANG THANGS” , and white men have small “PETER WHACKERS”. I know this is not true, because I have been with black men that have really itty bity “THANG THANGS”, and even though I have never been with a white man sexually, I have seen pictures, and porn (don’t judge and don’t act) where they were hung like horses. It’s a great possibility that I am afraid that a white man may not be able to relate to me and I may not be able to relate to him. Whatever that case maybe I personally believe I need to get over it and stop seeing color. Who knows, my soul mate may be white, or any other race at that. *Sigh* Pray for me.