“Friends with benefits”…Accept It or Don’t Do It.

We’re in a time where convenience is truly valued. And rightfully so, we are living in a fast world. We want convenient food, convenient transportation, convenient friendships, convenient relationships, convenient sex. Yes, I said sex – it’s true, if you think differently, think again.

The “proper” term is “friends with benefits”, which in my opinion the term sounds like a big joke. Why not call it “acquaintances with benefits”? Think about it, you’re truly not friends with this person. They don’t care what’s going on in your life; if your uncle Joe blow died, or you got fired from your job. Face it, the only thing they are concerned about is if you are are available to give them that good pootang or dingalang (lmao, I got a good chuckle off of that one).

Besides the term being radical, this “friends with benefits” thing majority of the time ends up with someone getting hurt. Some will argue my personal views, and that is fine, but realistically and statistically speaking this is known to be the truth. Someone starts catching feelings for the other person and the other person doesn’t feel the same way. The end result in this situation is someone being truly pissy because the other person didn’t feel the same way.

How many happy endings do you know of where the two people shook hands and civilly parted ways? I’m sure not very many scenarios played out like this. And I’m not saying it’s impossible, but 98.9% of the time people conclude with a different ending – a not so happy one.

I was a once a proud supporter and member of the “friends with benefits” club (well I haven’t quite ended my membership yet – different story for another posting). It was easy, simple, and convenient; BOOM, BANG, POW..and we’re done, nothing to it. But honestly, it gets old after a while. Getting called in the middle of the night, not actually talking and getting to know that person; everything is kept short and sweet (EVERYTHING!). After a while you realize this sh*t is for the birds and you want something more, rightfully so.

I guess all I’m trying to say is if you decide you want to be in a “friends with benefits”, or as I like to call it, “acquaintances with benefits”, type of relationship, keep in mind this: you are not really friends (majority of the time), don’t expect them to give 2 shits about your life, don’t have expectations of them fully committing to you, and if you catch feelings, slap yourself because you knew what you were getting in to; you signed that contract when he or she text or called you in the middle of the night; your signature was your reply.

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Lets talk about this FriendshiT…oops I mean FriendshiP stuff

Lol! I love it!

Can someone please explain to me why meeting/making new friends is so hard when you become a certain age, or hit a certain point in your life. I swear it seems to be one of the hardest things about being an adult besides paying bills, and being fully responsible for yourself.

For those that have no clue how old I am, allow me to put myself on blast. I am 28 great years old, soon to be 29 great years old in June (you can mail all gifts to my P.O Box when my birthday rolls around). And with me being the age that I am and at the point of my life that am in, I find making friends a very difficult task.

When you become an adult, things become a lot harder and realistic. Majority of your time is spent trying to get your priorities in order so you can live a prosperous, happy, comfortable life. The time that was once spent laughing, giggling, and talking about not a damn thing on the phone until the wee hours of the night no longer exists. Going to the movies every weekend with some of your closest friends is a thing of the past. You can no longer play the silly little game you used to play in grade school (some still do). All of these things are non existant….poof…gone…bye bye. So with all of these things being stripped away from you as an adult, is that one of the reasons why it is hard to make new friends? Is it due to lack of time? DING DING DING!!!! The answer is YES, at least in my opinion. When I was younger, I had all the time in the world to get to know someone. Majority of the people who were my friends were people I went to school with, and with that being said, I spent a gang of my time with them. Shit, I don’t have time like that anymore. I have things to do, places to go, and goals to be accomplished.

Granted I have met some really cool people over the years, especially in 2009 and 2010, and I can honestly say we either have a friendship formed, or we are currently forming a friendship. We automatically “CLICK”; I understand them and they understand me. Theirs a common ground, and that common ground is that we both have a life outside of our friendship; jobs, kids, goals, hobbies, family, school, boyfriends, girlfriends, jumpoffs, husbands, wives, cats, dogs, and the list goes on. We know that it’s sometimes hard to talk on the phone, or find time to always hang out, it’s nothing personal, it’s just life.

Allow me to bring up another reason why it’s sometimes hard to form new friendships in your golden years [adulthood]. TRUST.

The older you get, it seems the sketchier,trifling, and untrustworthy people are. It can be hard to say who is with you and who is against you, some people have mastered the art of putting on their poker face 24/7, 365. Honestly, it seems to be easier to just be by your damn self, then you don’t have to worry about someone trying to fuck you over; throw shade in your direction. It’s sad to say, but I may have pushed away some really good people in fear of this happening to me. If I don’t have a good feeling about you in the beginning, I don’t take it lightly, I pay very close attention to the vibes people give off. God didn’t give me the gift of the third eye, I like to think He [God] gave me the gift of many eyes; I see something deeper. Their have been times I have been wrong about a person’s character/motives and allowed a person too far in to my life, allowing that person to use me; suck me dry. This trust issue I have has made it extremely hard for me to open up to people at times, which of course makes it hard to build a friendship, or any type of relationship.

So I guess I answered my own question as to why making new friends is so hard; “Lack of time” and “Lack of trust”. This makes all the sense in the world to me, because building trust for a person takes time, which grows into a friendship. I guess that’s why I stick with the handful of friends I have now, because we already have something established. But nevertheless, I want to meet new people, that I can include in my life, and learn new things from. I want to combined my new friends with my old friends, and then we can all be friends…LMFAO literally!!! That was the wackest line ever!! But I’m tiered of typing and my brain hurts from thinking about all this friendship stuff..so I am ending this blog entry right here.